Friday, July 19, 2013

Why African Babies Don't Cry

It may be an odd thing to comment on, in our country, with the constant focus on race, skin color, etc. But its not a phrase that I came up with, or even ever thought about personally. I read an article entitled just that: Why African Babies Don't Cry (all links at bottom of post). And it did make me think. Perhaps the civilizations that haven't bothered to "progress" as much as Westernized cultures, still have it better than us at child rearing. More specifically, the baby year(s).

In the article of interest, the author, of African descent, describes the all-encompassing cures of breastfeeding and baby wearing in her native culture. It isn't considered "crunchy" or "attachment parenting". There aren't support groups or information filled forums for people that want to join the lifestyle and try parenting differently from all their neighbors and acquaintances and family. It just IS. Baby cries? Nurse him. Upset? Nurse him. Won't sleep? Nurse him. After nursing? Wear him.

Such a simple response, and so natural. Yet here...the American baby needs to be trained. Or isn't a good sleeper. Or is too fussy - better switch to formula. Let him cry it out in the crib, its healthy, otherwise he'll NEVER sleep alone...except I've never heard of a teenager that slept with his parents, no matter where he slept as a baby. So what is our obsession with isolating and formula feeding American babies? So that they fit into our fast-paced lifestyles? I cringe just thinking about weaning my nursling, knowing how brief this relationship is, compared to a lifespan.

**note: this is NOT a dig at those who legitimately cannot nurse their babies...those who choose not to without medical reasons, it's a personal decision that at least deserves careful consideration**

So let's look at a few issues with the way we view sleep for a baby. According to a blog post by Psychology Today (link below), 'Whether it’s every hour, or every two hours, or even three, parents are often concerned when their young infant is waking regularly for feedings. This concern is not surprising given the focus on “sleeping through the night” that our culture pushes. But sleeping through the night is not biologically normal, especially for a breastfeeding baby.' This statement speaks volumes to the style of parenting that is prevalent in our society. We are expected to have success at forcing upon a baby something that is "not biologically normal". Especially for a breastfeeding baby, who is getting such a perfect form of nutrition that it is rapidly digested...meaning that baby is ACTUALLY HUNGRY again quickly...not just manipulating you for attention, as American parents are led to believe.

Another view of this issue is simple evolutionary biology. Another article from the Psychology Today blog, also linked below, tells the biological view of the "sleeping issue" so wonderfully that I included an excerpt that describes how we used to live...before modern civilizations, agriculture, domestication, settlements, towns, empires, westernization. We were hunter-gatherers, which is a constantly moving, temporary lifestyle unlike the homes we strive to provide for our children today.

" Until a mere 10,000 years ago we were all hunter-gatherers. We all lived in a world where any young child, alone, in the dark, would have been a tasty snack for nighttime predators. The monsters under the bed or in the closet were real ones, prowling in the jungle or savannah, sniffing around, not far from the band's encampment. A grass hut was not protection, but the close proximity of an adult, preferably many adults, was protection. In the history of our species, infants and young children who grew frightened and cried out to elicit adult attention when left alone at night were more likely to survive to pass on their genes to future generations than were children who placidly accepted their fate. In a hunter-gatherer culture only a crazy person or an extremely negligent person would leave a small child alone at night, and at the slightest protest from the child, some adult would come to the rescue."

So...with most of the world, and the evolutionary biology of our children, being against the sleep methods of our country's culture, why is cosleeping still so taboo? Or "crunchy"? Or "hippie"? Not to mention breastfeeding (anywhere), comfort nursing, and babywearing. Maybe this is why American babies DO cry...though I do as much to prevent my nursling from crying as possible. How do you decide to parent?



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